In My Head

Here is a good video of what is happening with the toilet in my apartment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDMUekfOR-E

It is getting into my head. 4:00 in the morning I will be awakened from my slumber with a little gurgling. And then I hear a watery explosion.

I am hesitant to use the toilet. I only want the bidet function when I am using a toilet with a bidet function. What if it explodes when I am brushing my teeth? Are my legs going to get wet? What if I am doing my business when it explodes…is it going to knock me off the pooper? What if I am in the shower, get out of the shower to dry off, and the toilet explodes and gets my legs wet? Do I just take another shower?

What am I to do? Should I Saran Wrap the toilet to keep all of the water in the bowl? And if that is the case, what happens when I take the Saran Wrap off? Will there be an explosion of gathered gases? What if I forget to take the Saran Wrap off?

Should I scoop all of the water out of the bowl to lessen the power of the explosion? There is a ladle on the kitchen sink that I know I am not using while I am here.

Should I keep a super powered plunger next to the toilet so that when I hear the gurgle, I can plunge away until the air pocket goes somewhere else? Turn the toilet upstairs into a bidet?

So many questions to figure out…